Read e-book online The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're PDF

By Harriet Lerner

In her such a lot asserting and life-changing e-book but, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us tips on how to fix love and reference to the folk who subject the main. In The Dance of Connection we examine what to claim (and not say) while: * we'd like an apology, and the individual that has harmed us won't say sorry or be in charge. * We don't know the way to take a talk to the subsequent point after we think determined. * We think worn down by way of the opposite person's feedback, negativity, or irresponsible habit. * we now have been rejected or bring to an end, and the opposite individual won't appear for the dialog. * we're being affected by staying or leaving, and we don't comprehend our "bottom line." * we're confident that we've attempted every thing -- and not anything changes.

Filled with compelling own tales and case examples, Lerner outlines daring new "voice lessons" that exhibit us the best way to communicate with honor and private integrity, even if the opposite individual behaves badly.
Whether we're facing a associate, mum or dad, sister, or ally, The Dance of Connection teaches us how one can navigate our most vital relationships with readability, braveness, and joyous conviction.

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Read e-book online The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're PDF

In her such a lot maintaining and life-changing booklet but, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us the right way to fix love and reference to the folk who subject the main. within the Dance of Connection we research what to assert (and no longer say) whilst: * we'd like an apology, and the individual that has harmed us won't ask for forgiveness or be dependable. * We don't know the way to take a talk to the subsequent point once we suppose determined. * We believe worn down through the opposite person's feedback, negativity, or irresponsible habit. * we now have been rejected or bring to an end, and the opposite individual won't appear for the dialog. * we're suffering from staying or leaving, and we don't comprehend our "bottom line. " * we're confident that we've attempted every thing -- and not anything changes.

Filled with compelling own tales and case examples, Lerner outlines daring new "voice lessons" that express us how one can communicate with honor and private integrity, even if the opposite individual behaves badly.
Whether we're facing a associate, mother or father, sister, or ally, The Dance of Connection teaches us the right way to navigate our most crucial relationships with readability, braveness, and joyous conviction.

Download e-book for iPad: Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

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Additional resources for The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

Example text

He didn’t overreact or underreact. He didn’t minimize my fears or offer reassurances. As we headed toward the dreaded rapid, he didn’t patronize me, distance, or hover. He was warm and available, but he never treated me like “a problem,” nor did he lose sight of my overall competence. With everyone else, I forced myself to act brave. I had determined that it wasn’t useful to let my fear spill over into the group. Indeed, when I began to feign courage and calm, it helped me to muster those very qualities in myself, and the people I was with began to treat me as a real member of the team rather than the weak link in a chain.

With age comes more discernment, more knowledge of the self, and less willingness to compromise or betray the self to keep relationships calm—or to keep them at all. The recognition at midlife that the future doesn’t stretch out forever challenges us to figure out what really matters and to speak wisely. How Much Should You Reveal? My friend Jennifer Berman once drew a cartoon depicting a woman approaching a man at a party. She’s saying, “Hi! My name’s Gloria. ” In our desperate rush to become intimate, we may tell too much too soon.

Our silence may protect us from fear in the short run but leave us more shamed, isolated, and alone in the long run, without the necessary emotional and practical support we need and Should you Share Vulnerability? / 43 deserve. The more intimate and enduring the relationship, the greater the longing to find some way to share our full selves, and the greater the consequences of not telling, of not being real. When a crisis strikes, it will hit us especially hard if we haven’t had some practice in letting people know how much we need them, and in accepting the help and comfort they are able to offer.

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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate by Harriet Lerner


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